I started a blog post on March 23rd with the same title "A Season of Change". However, looking back the only change at that time was the temperature. Now on October 28, 2022, there is truly a season of change. For the last six years, I've tried to have a relationship with my parents but that all came to a bitter end in the last two weeks. My life was so much better in the years when they weren't in it.
My mother and I have never really seen eye to eye. She is a bully and I've never been one to cower. Everyone has danced to the beat of her drum but when I opted out to be one of her minions that is when the problem started.
Money management has never been something that was taught in our household. I didn't get to save a lot because you could rest assured when I was under her roof every time she knew it was a payday she needed money for something. The turning point was when I moved out and she still expected me to pay for my house and hers. Finally, I got to the point where I told her that I was not her husband and that I would not take care of her my entire life. This was the end of any normal mother-and-daughter relationship that we would ever have.
In the beginning, my dad was guilty because he never stood up to her. His line was that he didn't have anything to do with it. However, I gave him multiple passes and for a while, I thought that literally, his only failure was not standing up to her. As time passed, I realized that he was the same person. His family would always blame my mother and would assert two things: (1)he loved me and (2) my mother had a root on him. Both of which were lies. He was simply better at hiding it.
Fast forward to the present day, in the last two weeks, I've been blamed for so much that I can't even laugh about it. I've been blamed for my mother getting put out of the hospital which was the patient's wish. I was blamed for an altercation at a funeral home where I wasn't even present and I've been blamed for helping the mother of a child that my dad had while married find him so that she could pursue child support. In the beginning, it pissed me off because I'm tired of being the scapegoat but after thinking, it was just a reminder that there is no reason for them to be in life.
Ten years from now, they will still be looking for the next way to scam someone out of money and blaming the world for all of their troubles. When they or no longer here or if I leave first, there is no need to list me in their obituaries or them in mine. My dad said it best last Monday, when people can't get along it's best that they part ways. I'm fine with that, I'm fine with the lies that they will spread but most of all I'm fine with the peace and the life that I have.
Signed,
A Self Emancipated Daughter
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