At 15, I never imagined that I would have kids that would one day be 15 and would want to get a learners permit. Well, family, that time has finally come. I am officially in the Parents of Children that are starting to learn club. As in a lot of situations that I experience, I have to wonder if there was something that I could have done differently to alleviate the stress that ensued during my first time in the passenger seat. I pride myself on being calm and cool in life-threatening situations but I think in this instance I failed. Let's cut the crap, I did fail there is nothing to think about.
It started innocently enough, I was going to Walgreen's and the oldest asked if she could drive. I want my children to be confident in themselves even if I'm not so confident in them. Mistake#1 She saw me praying as I walked to the car. I was startled by 'Ma, I can't believe you are praying. You are actually saying real words." My response was a blank stare and "hunh". I knew full well that she was telling the truth because I was terrified, you hear me terrified!!!
The take-off was a little rough but I knew that she had to adjust to the brakes and the gas pedal so i contained my thumping heart to remain in my chest. Our subdivision entrance is near a curve that people speed around all the time. As we were pulling out, I was almost certain that I peed my pants but to my delight, I found myself to still be dry. So we drove to Walgreens, there was a lot of slow driving, some hard stops, some further back then we should and some bad parking but it's to be expected because she is new.
Things took a turn as we were heading home. I was watching this car in front of us stop, I clearly saw the brake lights. I gave her the opportunity to stop of her own but it didn't appear that she was going to do so. Therefore, I calmy in my inside voice said: "Hit the brakes". Nothing happened so I said it again in my inside voice and nothing happened again. Five shrieking hit the brakes and a heart attack later, she stopped. Her response, that car didn't have the brake lights on. Now at this point, I don't know if it had brake lights or not but I clearly saw that the car wasn't moving. I informed her when the experienced driver tells you to do something just do it and don't question. We drove home with me in tears, it appeared to be from laughter but I think it was from being scared half to death. In the blink of an eye, I had calculated how much this accident was going to cost me and that I was going to take her permit and cut it in half on the scene. Whatever, feel free to judge me because not one person was going to make a donation to that bill.
When we got home, I resisted the urge to kiss the ground. I felt a different kind of happy. If the euphoria that I felt when we were safely parked was anything compared to the high that people get from recreational drugs, I clearly understand why they do it.
I feel what you're going through. Keeping you in prayer.
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